Christmas 2008: Crap Sandwich Sprinkled with Christmas Miracles

The title really says it all. Crap Sandwich. It perfectly describes the von Elling 2008 Holiday season, but there were also 3 Christmas miracles, by my count.

It all begins with Caden getting sick the week before Christmas, leaving me home all week with a SUPER whinny and sick 2 year old and a newborn. This is tricky to say the least and by the time Pete gets home every night it's a miracle I'm not hiding in the closet with a six pack. By the 23rd, Reece and Pete are also sick. For a short time I think that maybe I'm super human and will escape the plague, but get hit hard that night. Nobody in my family wants to come over for Christmas Eve festivities anymore (understandably), and Pete and I can barely choke down a few bites of the cookies that Caden left out for Santa to make it look like he was there. (Below: Caden sick on the couch)

Christmas morning was sweet because it's the first time Caden was really into the whole concept, but we were all still super sick and spent most of the day laying around on various surfaces in the house. Happily, my mother decided NOT to cancel our invitation to Christmas dinner, so it did feel a little bit like a holiday. To make things more challenging, we are leaving for Florida on a 7:00 am flight the Saturday after Christmas. You'd think that we'd all be feeling better by then, but you'd be dead wrong. It dawns on me that I should take these children to a doctor before we leave the state, so we schlep in to see our favorite pediatrician, Dr. Fishelberg, on the 26th. Caden has a sinus infection, but Reece, while totally pitiful, is still not in need of antibiotics. He suggests prayer and reflection. I love this man and I'll write a whole different post about Dr. Fish some day.

So here's the crap sandwich crescendo, and also the miracles. It's best viewed in a timeline.

3:30 am Saturday morning: Reece wake up to eat, like normal. I figure he'll nurse and go back to sleep, giving me an hour before we have to wake up and get us all out the door in time for our obscenely early flight. Instead, he POWER VOMITS all over me and himself which leads to...

4:00 am: unscheduled shower for me, bath for Reece and couch cleaning

5:00 am: First Christmas Miracle. I go wake up Caden expecting the usual baditude and crying, only to be greeted by an excited little boy ready to go on the plane. AWESOME.

5:15 am: Out the door and on our way to the airport.

5:20 am: We are pulled over on the side of the Dulles Toll Road because the rear window has randomly ROLLED ITSELF DOWN and refuses to go back up. Pete has to pull and yank on it for a good 5 minutes. Bizzarro.

5:45 am: We get to the airport and start to go through the gauntlet of airport baggage check in and security hell. I'll spare you the details. It wasn't pretty.

6:40 am: We are finally through security and on our way to the plane and we are LATE. Of course the gate we're going to is the furthest possible point away you can go without getting on the tram. We're hauling ass with kids and several assorted bags in tow. People are throwing little cups of Gatorade to us like we're marathoners.

6:58 am: We get to our gate. The attendant takes one look at us and lets us through. Unfortunately, the plane is already almost full. It's Southwest of course, so it looks like we won't be able to sit together. I'm having visions of having to nurse Reece stuck in the middle seat between 2 boy scouts as I hear Caden screaming for me from the back of the plane. I start to cry.

Christmas Miracle #2: The very last row of the plane is totally empty!! It's ours and we all get to sit together!!

Christmas Miracle #3: Reece slept the whole way and Caden was SO GOOD. We managed to NOT be the parents of screaming babies and annoying toddlers. Yay!

10:15 am: Southwest Airlines looses the stroller and Reece's car seat.

Crap. Sandwich.

Food, or lack their of

One thing that nobody tells you about having a baby until you already have one is that, if you're nursing, the only thing you can eat is boiled chicken and plain rice or it will hurt their little bellies. This probably isn't true for every baby ever born, but it's true for every baby ever born to me. Since Reece's arrival, I've cut out:

1. caffeine - this one hurts the most
2. dairy
3. caffeinated dairy - tastier than it sounds
4. anything green
5. anything acidic like tomatoes, oranges, grapefruit
6. everything else

I'm making a list of all of the things I'm going to eat once this phase is over, and I'm going to write it down here so I don't forget:

1. A huge vat of coffee
2. Giant salad with peppers, avocado, tomatoes and blue cheese
3. black bean burrito
4. Broccoli with melted cheddar
5. Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Brownie Fro Yo shake
6. a pizza with an ice cold coke
7. an entire wheel of brie
8. more wine than necessary or advisable

Any other suggestions? What am I forgetting?

8 Weeks with Reece

I can't believe it's been 8 weeks since sweet little Reece was born, but there you have it. When you have a brand new baby in the house, time manages to drag unbearably and rush by you all at the same time. So what have we learned about our new son so far? 

Well, he's an easier baby than his brother, that's for SURE, but I still wouldn't call him an "easy baby" when compared to... uh... other people's babies. We do an awful lot of bouncing to keep the crying at bay, and at night he really like to let loose with the wails (I wouldn't quite classify it as screaming), so we have been walking up and down the stairs as well. But somehow it all seems so much more manageable than the first time we went through this with Caden. Maybe it's because this time, we know that this is just a very short phase, and soon we will leave crazy town behind. With Caden, Pete and I thought we had ruined our lives permanently.

Okay so let's see.. Reece has been smiling for weeks now and just around Thanksgiving he started to coo at us. Just yesterday he blew raspberries at me. He's so advanced! His other favorite thing to do is stand up and look around. It can stop a crying jag. Amazing.

I Knew This Would Happen Someday

Well shit. I knew this would happen someday, and now that day is here (and has been for a while, I know). The gentleman above is Kevin Madden - CNN commentator, former Romney Press Secretary, All around dashingly handsome and charming guy... and former Capitol Lounge regular.

For anyone who doesn't know, the Capitol Lounge is a bar situated just 2 blocks from the Capitol building, and has been an institution among the capitol hill set, both young and old. I was a bartender there for a few years, and the place was a mad house. It's amazing what you learn about people at 3 in the morning, after they've been on the same barstool for the past 6 hours. The longer I worked there, the more I came to dread the day that these people actually started to be in real positions of power. But I knew it was coming. The first time I saw one of them featured in Time Magazine last year I almost choked. And now this.

To be fair to Kevin, he was always very nice. Never started a fight. Never got sloppy drunk. Always said please and tipped well. As far as bar regulars go, I really liked him. I think what's so disturbing about seeing my Lounge Folk in the national spotlight is losing the sense that people in real positions of power - and the people commenting on them- were somehow different and only two dimensional. But now it's our turn, and I know these guys. Right now it's just a CNN pundit (and really, Madden was clearly born to be on TV). But someday, one of those F*ers is going to be president. And I'll probably know all about that time that he or she drank 6 shots of Jaeger and fell down the stairs after stripping of their shirt and punching their best friend in the face.

God Bless America.

Random Thoughts

I have a few friends who's blogs I check every day, just to see what they're up to. And I find myself getting all antsy when they don't have new posts. But I guess that's not fair when I haven't bothered to update my own blog in so long. I don't have any one, coherent thing to talk about, so here's a random gathering of things that have been running through my head.

1. I still don't know how to respond the the lady who told me that I look "ripe" yesterday.


2. I'm really proud of my husband for actually volunteering to go knock on doors for something that he believes in.


3. Everything makes me cry recently. For example, Caden woke up at 6:00 in the morning on Monday, and I cried.


4. Pete and I will be lucky to make it to dinner and a movie for our 5 year anniversary this weekend. This is lame.


5. Caden is into declaring things "beautiful" lately. Yesterday, as he was running up and down the hall, he told me that he was a "beautiful race car". And he totally is.

Here's a recent photo of the beautiful race car:

This is just funny

John McCain has single-handedly made comedians all over the world feel alive again with his choice of Sarah Palin as running mate.

Attention Teenage Shoppers...

I need to let the shopping youth of America in on something. I am 35 years old and 8 1/2 months pregnant. I'm at the point that most maternity clothes don't even fit me (shut up, it's normal). This weekend I actually had to go get a few shirts that would carry me through these last few weeks. And guess what... I found 3 totally cute shirts that actually accommodate this belly to the point that I can keep hitting the ice cream, no problem - IN THE TEEN SECTION.

I just thought you should all be aware of this a) for your general knowledge of the big picture and b) in case you want to make any fashion adjustments in light of this information. In the meantime, I thank you for your current sartorial aesthetic.